Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

This goes back to my school days again with the mental bullying.  I shan't go on and on about this because I have previously, but they did make my life difficult for me.  I don't tend to hang on to people that treat me badly.  I am strong enough now ( I like to think) to walk away from it.  I will stay with people who like me and get me.  I do get very upset when someone doesn't like me.  I like to know why so that if I can change that aspect of myself then I at least want to try.  I think the upset, how it makes us feel and behave, isn't worth the pain of keeping people, who make your life hell or treat you bad in your life's.  Though I completely understand it isn't always possible to walk away from it.   I like to think that there is always someone who will help us take that step if we need to.

A christmas wreath I made yesterday.  The plastic glittered flowers and balls came from Value house and the wreath from a local florists it cost me £10.00 around $14.00 to make.  I am so pleased with it.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Hmmmm.  I don't know about this one.  I don't think that there is really anyone.  like I said in day 08 about not staying with anyone who treats us badly, equally I feel like we can't always keep the good friends in our lives.  I feel that everyone comes and goes into our lives for a reason and when they have done their jobs and we have learnt a lesson or two from them they move on.  Very philosophical of me I know.  I truly believe this though so I tend to let go easily knowing that someone else is just around the corner. 

Plus.  I never really had any friends as I was ill a lot and would have to cancel arrangementts made and until a round my college years friends didn't understand.  They just wanted to play and I couldn't so they found someone who could.  Fair enough I guess.  OK enough meaningless ramblings.  I wont bore you anymore, not until I decide to do Day 10 anyways.

A little sketch I did a few months back.

Truths number 6 and 7

Truths number 6 and 7

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to tell someone close to me that someone close to them has passed away.  I just dont think I could do it.  It was bad enough when I had to call my husband (then fiance) home from work because my nan had passed away in the nursing home she was in.  Rob was a tower of strength for me.  We drove back to mums home 80 miles away (I dont drive) and he just did everything for us.  Even at the funeral he finished my speach because I just broke down and couldnt do it.  I am not sure, no I know, I couldnt be that tower of strength they would need me to be.  I am such a sentative person that I would probably end up being looked after instead of doing the looking after.  I know it sounds selfish and it probably is, and who knows I might surprise myself and be able to, its just I hope I never do have to. 

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Well this is an easy one, I have two.  My mum, she has had more than her fair share with me over the years.  One time I remember I had had my valve replaced and the operation was a real success.  I came out of intensive care and into a cubicle on my own.  One tea time I had a sandwich and felt terribly sick and I was.  Then for weeks I couldnt keep anything down the doctors had all but given up hope and said there wasnt anything left they could do.  I went to 4 stone (63ish lbs) 110z.  In my semi conscious state I heard mum say that its just like she has given up.  Well I heard her and said thats a horrible thing to say.  The thing is I think I had because in two weeks I was over 6 stone (93ish lbs) and back home.  So thanks to her I am still here now. 

Secondly is yes you guessed it, my husband.  What can I say.  I was beginning to get worried about ever finding someone (we met on Dateline).  Now my life is so wonderful and I am so happy and I know I am being soppy but I dont care.  He even gets on with my mum, how cool is that.

#4 and #5 truths

                                        Blue tit made with real pressed flowers from the garden

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

I have to forgive my school friends and school teachers for bullying me (mentally not phsyically) because I was different.  I was always slow at sports and I used to dread games because I knew I would never get picked and the teachers would demand things of me I simply could not deliever.  One sports teacher in particular didnt believe I had a heart condition.  I guess because my illness wasnt one you could see like only having one arm.  In some ways I think that would almost have been easier.  I used to dread school but I never talked about it to my mum or dad.  Mum would ask but i'd shrug and dismiss it. 

So I guess I need to forgive these people, I can do that, forgetting on the over hand, not so easy.

Chaffinch made with real pressed flowers from the garden

 Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life

I have always dreamed of being a successful artist.  I would love a little shop, just a small one, which would be a cafe come art shop where I would sell my creations.  I realise I have a long way to go to get there, my art is getting there.  I need to start with places like Etsy and Ebay.  I am doing a couple of local table top sales one on the 13th November and another one on the 10th December.  Once I have created a name there then perhaps I can think about going bigger.  That is if I have the monies to do so.  Then there is my health to consider I would have to get someone in to help when I am not so well.  But there it is that is what I hope to do.  I never say never.  All things are possible

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

 A photo taken yesterday of my garden

#3 Something I need to forgive myself for

I found this one difficult.  I guess I need to forgive myself for not being able to do the housework all the time.  Because of my heart condition I sometimes am not able to much at all.  Today is one of those days.  I feel that I should be able to cope that my husband is hard at work in a high demanding job.  I think that I shouldnt have to ask him to cook tea because I am not well or do the housework for me.  Like he says it isnt my fault so I need to forgive myself for that.  I feel like this should be a longer post but I am not really in the writing mood.  I am in the creating mood.  I shall go and make some cards and just have an easy day today. 

Something like this will make me relax.  I love sketching wildlife as much as I enjoy filming it.

Truth #2 and blog award. Yay

TRUTH # 2 SOMETHING YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF

Hmmm something I love about myself.  I love my thirst for knowledge.  I am always interested in learning something new whether it be a new crafting technique or alternative therapies.  At the moment I am very busy collating all sorts of herbal information.  I am looking for the scientific herbalism like if you mix this herb with that herb/flower its good for relieving blocked noses.  I also want to know what herb is good for using in cooking and if I hang a certain herb in a certain place will it ward of negativity.  That sort of thing.  I am going to put all that I find onto a website, probably ning.  If you have any information I would love to hear about it.  email me at Saratwycross@yahoo.co.uk or ningangels@yahoo.co.uk I am finding out some interesting things too.  I am also discovering things about myself by doing these truths. 

   Faerie Sage gave me this award.  I am so happy.  and in true blog award style here are the 10 blogs that I feel are worthy of this award.
http://twistedfigures.blogspot.com/
http://saray-viola.blogspot.com/
http://www.folkandfairy.com/
http://www.bonnieroseartiste.com/
http://seagypsystudio.blogspot.com/
http://thefairytalecupboard.blogspot.com/
http://tinybear-dk.blogspot.com/2010/01/one-world-one-heart-giveaway.html
http://sarahswhimsydreams.blogspot.com/
http://shabbychicinspired.blogspot.com/2010/01/lavender-sachet-2.html
http://faeriesagekitchen.blogspot.com/

The 30 posts of Truth. Truth #1

I found a post called

The 30 Posts Of Truth 

 at

http://faeriesagekitchen.blogspot.com/ 

She wrote her first truth and it was something I could so totally relate to and I thought what a great idea to do this and  a potentially brilliant healing exercise.  She found the post over at   http://blog.sweetsoliloquies.com

    

So here is my first truth. 

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

I hate the fact that I have a terrible guilt issue.  I feel guilty over everything and say sorry for whatever I think I have to apologise for even if its something trivia.  I am having counselling on this and it is definitely helping.  I feel much less guilty but it is still a problem.  I hope to have a handle on it one day.  It really frustrates me that I do it, and my husband tells me off, he says the guilt bus has left town already.  I am sure it comes from the fact that I have a heart condition and can not do certain things.  I know the simple answer is to accept that I cant do them but I have too high a demand on myself that I should be able to do them. 

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

The fairy ball and tarot reading

So the weekend.  It was an interesting one.  Saturday saw the psychic fair which I dont know, normally I am in my element at these things but this time I felt completely drained and couldnt wait to get out.  I liked the arrangement of it all and they had a great selection of things there but I left a tad diappointed.  That influenced my mood for the day, right up until we were at the Fairy ball.  The ball was amazing, the bands were fantastic.  There are some pictures of it below.

                         This picture is from Sunday samhain.  My husband did me a reading and it was a very good very honest thought provoking reading.  I got a lot from it and realised what direction I needed to take in answer to my question.

This next picture is my outfit for the fairy ball.  I didnt wear my wings this time as they were a bit battered from the last one.  I need to make a new smaller pair.

The next 4 photos are some of the outfits at the ball.  We had a fabulous time.  The Daughters of Gaia were there as were a local band to us called The Dolmen.  They were fan flippin' tasktic.  Boogied the night away and all on diet coke. 

The last picture is my halloween canvas I made a few days ago.  I had such fun drawing this one and then painting it.  I am going to put it on Etsy.  I know Halloween is over but someone might like it for next year.