Mum is home

Yay, I am so relieved.  Mum is home and completely back to normal.  Just so glad that is over and now I now what to expect for if it ever happens again.  I know I can deal with it and I know that mum can deal with it.  We are made of strong stuff our family.  I am so thankful, its wonderful to have such caring friends and family close by.

Thursday Drama with my mum

Phew

What a scary couple of days I have just had.  Just over a year ago my mum had a Stroke.  She is almost fully recovered but was recently diagnosed as having Epilepsy as a result of the stroke.  Up til now she has just had very small twitching which was under control by tablets.  Well Thursday that all changed.  She came round to me for a coffee, she only lives two doors away.  I had called her round because I had a migraine and was feeling quite down.  My mother in law comes round at the same time to pay a vist like she does often but as we all get on it was really nice.  Mum said her left foot felt funny and then she couldnt feel it and it started shaking.  Not hanging about I called the ambulance.

They were there in five minutes and by then mum was so panicky and scared I was just trying to keep her calm.  She came round from that a little and they managed to bend her stiff leg to get her in a wheel chair to take her to the amulance.  She had another very small one on the way to the ambulance and then one in the ambulance as I was waiting outside where she bit her lip.  In the ambulance on the way to DOrchester A&E she had a major fit.  I thought we were going to loose her right there and then. She went unconsious though her eyes were open and she never came round.  When we got there she had another one in the A&E.   5 fits in the space of two hours.  She was also sick when they did a CT scan that turned out completely normal.  We left her in the hospital ward around tea time and of course I was exhausted and in bits, we didnt know anything much at this point. Having never seen an Epilitic fit before I was terrified.

 Well we went to see her yesterday afternoon and there she was sat up talking away almost back to her old self.  Apart from a shocking head and a really sore body.  We are hopefull that she can come home today.  I am so thankful in a way that the doctors have said it was Epilepsy and not another stroke.  At least I know how to deal with it now and that they can treat it quickly. 

I will let you all know when she is home.  I will feel much better then and so will mum. 

Rufus Castle

Hi all

Well my first long walk of the new year was to a gorgeous spot on our island that has just become on of my favourite walks.  My husband and I both need to loose a bit of weight from christmas and new year excess.  I think I ate more over the new year than christmas.  Getting rid of all the left over nibbles I suppose was partly too blame and my lack of ability to say no to food, oh well.  Anyway the walk. It was a lovely day though muddy from all the previous rain. Here are a few photos to show you where we went.

The picture of the bridge is called wispering bridge.  Legend has it that you have to stay silent whilst walking under it.  I am not sure why.

on the way back home we passed the corner house, a local pub.  I needed to use the bathroom so we decide to have a quick drink, well it was Sunday afternoon.  Then after that I kinda rolled home!

The Snowy weekend

The weekend just gone was our motorikes club annual christmas party.  We had a merry old time with friends we hadnt seen in a while and an adventurous journey in the snow.  It amuses me how our country grinds to a halt with a snowfall.  Our landrover took us and brought us home without any problems.  Here are some pictures of the party and the snow.

I forgot to mention.  IT was a 70's weekend.  Some of us (not me) like to dress up to the theme that we pick each year.  I like to dress up by wearing something a bit posher than normal, dont get the chance all that often. 

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hello you (me) I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are.  I love the way you are a loving generous person who always manages to see the good in everybody even if sometimes there isnt much to see.  I love the fact that when you talk to new people you find a common ground and build around that.  I love how creative you are.  You have a great talent for making creative things.  I love how you gabble on when you are tired or happy and go eeeeeeeeeee all the time.  I love the craxy bonkers things that you come out with like when you couldnt think of the words oyster catchers when you saw one a while back and called it winkle picker instead.  I love how cuddly you are.  Your cooking I love.  I love how glitter gets everywhere you have been.  I love how that if there crystals about a shop they will always find you.  I love your love for the colour purple, fairies and angels and wildlife.  Your loyalty is great and I love you so much for just being you and no one else. 

I saw this outside my window and knew it would make a great photo.  Having this much snow on Portland is very rare.  The little girl has probably never seen so much in one snow fall.  Or the grown up come to that.  We get snow, just not this much.

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Oh my god.  If I got pregnant.  why my reaction?  Well as much as I like children my heart condition means it is highly probable I wouldnt make it through child birth and I would pass my condition onto my baby and it could be even worse than the level I have it at now.  I have been steralised to prevent it from happening and fortunately my husband isnt father material.  I couldnt live with having an abortion so permanment preventative steps are a must.  It sounds harsh to someone who who would give anything for a baby, I am just not that kind of person I guess.  Though I can empashise with someone who has to undergo treatment to have a baby, it just isnt possible for me.  I know that I would never be able to pick up my baby when it cries to comfort it or carry it around when its tired.  I never know what my day is going to be like health wise now so with a baby, it would be terrible.  I feel guilty enough when I am ill without a child in the aquasion.  Please dont shoot me down for this but my health comes first to me and my husband.  I like children, I used to babysit for a while.  I would come home exhausted and need a day to recover. 

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I would love to change this amazing guilt complex I have.  I have talked about it in other posts.  I say sorry for everything.  It drives me mad.  So that is something I would like to change.

Truth post 26 and 27

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I can honestly say I havent thought about ending it all. I feel lucky to be given life so I am determined to live it the best I can.  I can though completely empathise with what takes a person to that place to want to.  I have been very depressed and lonely in the past but I always had a wonderful network of support around me.  I cant imagine what that feeling would feel like with no support or anyone to talk to. 

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My life.  I am very happy with my life at the moment.  Not that there isnt anything I wouldnt change.  There would be some things of course.  I am working on my weight and it is gradually coming off.  I have a wonderful house, an amazing husbands whose faults are few.  My mum is living close to us and his parents are just around the corner.  I dont drive but there are plenty of shops in walking distance.  The doctors is handy and the bus service around here is great.  I have proper friends for the first time in years and feel appreciated for my contributions.