The Snowy weekend

The weekend just gone was our motorikes club annual christmas party.  We had a merry old time with friends we hadnt seen in a while and an adventurous journey in the snow.  It amuses me how our country grinds to a halt with a snowfall.  Our landrover took us and brought us home without any problems.  Here are some pictures of the party and the snow.

I forgot to mention.  IT was a 70's weekend.  Some of us (not me) like to dress up to the theme that we pick each year.  I like to dress up by wearing something a bit posher than normal, dont get the chance all that often. 

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Hello you (me) I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are.  I love the way you are a loving generous person who always manages to see the good in everybody even if sometimes there isnt much to see.  I love the fact that when you talk to new people you find a common ground and build around that.  I love how creative you are.  You have a great talent for making creative things.  I love how you gabble on when you are tired or happy and go eeeeeeeeeee all the time.  I love the craxy bonkers things that you come out with like when you couldnt think of the words oyster catchers when you saw one a while back and called it winkle picker instead.  I love how cuddly you are.  Your cooking I love.  I love how glitter gets everywhere you have been.  I love how that if there crystals about a shop they will always find you.  I love your love for the colour purple, fairies and angels and wildlife.  Your loyalty is great and I love you so much for just being you and no one else. 

I saw this outside my window and knew it would make a great photo.  Having this much snow on Portland is very rare.  The little girl has probably never seen so much in one snow fall.  Or the grown up come to that.  We get snow, just not this much.

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Oh my god.  If I got pregnant.  why my reaction?  Well as much as I like children my heart condition means it is highly probable I wouldnt make it through child birth and I would pass my condition onto my baby and it could be even worse than the level I have it at now.  I have been steralised to prevent it from happening and fortunately my husband isnt father material.  I couldnt live with having an abortion so permanment preventative steps are a must.  It sounds harsh to someone who who would give anything for a baby, I am just not that kind of person I guess.  Though I can empashise with someone who has to undergo treatment to have a baby, it just isnt possible for me.  I know that I would never be able to pick up my baby when it cries to comfort it or carry it around when its tired.  I never know what my day is going to be like health wise now so with a baby, it would be terrible.  I feel guilty enough when I am ill without a child in the aquasion.  Please dont shoot me down for this but my health comes first to me and my husband.  I like children, I used to babysit for a while.  I would come home exhausted and need a day to recover. 

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

I would love to change this amazing guilt complex I have.  I have talked about it in other posts.  I say sorry for everything.  It drives me mad.  So that is something I would like to change.

Truth post 26 and 27

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

I can honestly say I havent thought about ending it all. I feel lucky to be given life so I am determined to live it the best I can.  I can though completely empathise with what takes a person to that place to want to.  I have been very depressed and lonely in the past but I always had a wonderful network of support around me.  I cant imagine what that feeling would feel like with no support or anyone to talk to. 

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

My life.  I am very happy with my life at the moment.  Not that there isnt anything I wouldnt change.  There would be some things of course.  I am working on my weight and it is gradually coming off.  I have a wonderful house, an amazing husbands whose faults are few.  My mum is living close to us and his parents are just around the corner.  I dont drive but there are plenty of shops in walking distance.  The doctors is handy and the bus service around here is great.  I have proper friends for the first time in years and feel appreciated for my contributions.