I saw this outside my window and knew it would make a great photo. Having this much snow on Portland is very rare. The little girl has probably never seen so much in one snow fall. Or the grown up come to that. We get snow, just not this much.
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Oh my god. If I got pregnant. why my reaction? Well as much as I like children my heart condition means it is highly probable I wouldnt make it through child birth and I would pass my condition onto my baby and it could be even worse than the level I have it at now. I have been steralised to prevent it from happening and fortunately my husband isnt father material. I couldnt live with having an abortion so permanment preventative steps are a must. It sounds harsh to someone who who would give anything for a baby, I am just not that kind of person I guess. Though I can empashise with someone who has to undergo treatment to have a baby, it just isnt possible for me. I know that I would never be able to pick up my baby when it cries to comfort it or carry it around when its tired. I never know what my day is going to be like health wise now so with a baby, it would be terrible. I feel guilty enough when I am ill without a child in the aquasion. Please dont shoot me down for this but my health comes first to me and my husband. I like children, I used to babysit for a while. I would come home exhausted and need a day to recover.
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
I would love to change this amazing guilt complex I have. I have talked about it in other posts. I say sorry for everything. It drives me mad. So that is something I would like to change.
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3 comments:
~look at that snow!!! i am having some envy over here!!! enjoy the white sparkly glistening snow in the days ahead...so beautiful...as for your first truth...i don't think anyone could shoot you down for being honest and truthful...your words speak loud...you physically must come first...that is the thruth...a truth you face and only you know your limits...i commend you for honoring yourself...as so many women have babies when physically and mentally they are not well...and i think the child suffers greatly out of the selfish desire to have a child...it is a huge life long choice that on e wee little innocent life deserves only our full attention...mind body and spirit...as a mama...i know how enduring and trying times can be...so you knowing and accepting your physical limits is truly a blessing...i am sorry though to hear of your heart condition...i wish you well and blessings be with you always...and as for guilt...live and let go...something i have been working on for quite a long time...warm wishes and brightest blessings~
Each of us needs to make our own choices, do not beat yourself up about the fact that you through it through made a choice, and did what needed to be done to protect your own health. Doctors often tell women not to get pregnant again or at all due to health risks. I think that it is brave that you made this choice, setting aside children to preserve the family you have right now. Lots of people choose not to have children just because they don't want them, no health risks involved!
Thanks for sharing your bravery and your health struggles. Blessings
brave of u 2 share.
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